Rain Jacket

Properly fold

Clothes with gentle care

Conscious of wrinkles and fuzz pills

Smoothing shirts today

Alone and lonely

Staring into fridge and cabinets

Mentally holding invisible plans

Too confused to sort a recipe 

Once a moment wind soft

Sun mild blue

Courage to paint a door 

Proud and effortless red

Not for trespassing traumas

Real and suppressed

Non-existent 

Wearing a rain jacket of anger and remorse

Failed finding words

Questions ignored

Clarity reduced to vague

Abandoning what fire did not destroy 

Just a Colorado Neighborhood where I Don't Live

I am an artist again

Eating pasta with butter

Woolen slippers in snow

Consuming less space

Vision lost deciphering

Mountain's valley sun-blinded

Painting words in silent anonymity

12 Year Dissociation

Wearing shorts at the kitchen sink

Speaker loud

"Haunted by the ghost of you"

Hands wash diligently 

Head buzzes 

Overdosed hot chocolate 

Hot September morning

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do"

Planned to run

Distracted packing 

Frozen staring moments uncountable 

Lost red dog pissed on the floor

Books of art plates coughed up hair 

Police seizing pages

Valuable as my virtue

Toppling off rail of my station wagon

Nothing makes sense 

I'm privileged 

Stairwell photo of your Aunt's wedding 

Your toddler fingers rub the fabric of her dress

Your eyes

I see you 

My heart is breaking

"I am not the only traveler..."

Did I do enough

Dysfunction rolls across all of time

Nature of man exactly as it should be

Perfectly no mistake 

Noses half snaps genetically weakened by industry

Nothing is whole 

Injustice smells like money in hog troughs

While water flows with DNA

I'm sorry

My heart is breaking 

Who cares anyway

Dust like flies everywhere 

My hand touches desert rock

Will it know the feelings words cannot replace

Where will energy go when breath ends

My heart is breaking

"to the night we met "

Who were we

Haunted by ghosts of men 

Black fish suffocating in a dying pond

You knew it was there

Above everything

His arms carried you

You saw it all

Sealed in mitochondria 

My heart is breaking

Begging Hope to Stay

Bargaining with Energy

Performing compulsive acts

Of paper fire affirmations 

Begging Hope to stay

Though wishes crumble 

At the edge of embankment 

Before a saltless sea

How will I not fracture to dust

As whistles howl between my ears

Offspring scattered far away

Which threads are severed 

Or saved on spider's web 

No one feels the gavel

Under left hand upon my chest

As the Judge's words commence

I see myself under over head

Wondering again will I breathe

Skin of my arms won't reach 

To shield their eyes 

Pulling them close to me

Still seeds scatter

Paint a landscape 

Where birds sing to Hope

Even over barren concrete

 

Local News Tonight with Raindrops

Evening walk to check my mail

I sat among simpletons in the comment section

Haughty sordid words heavy weary flesh

Retracting letters tapping delete

I Pause

I am dumb

Close my eyes

Clutch phone dead black

Gravel crunches under my shoes

Smell-the paper

Ink washed away 

Written prayers on useless checks

Folded into paper fans

My unacceptance 

Falls into the rain

Everywhere still flows a small creek

Where minnows cross over flooded path 

On their sides

Silver looking up at the sky

No longer able to sleep at night

UP

Uptick in latitude decreased the atmospheric pressure 

Releasing déjà vu 

August flora lining lake 

Periwinkle sweet pea wild grape 

Russian sage tansy hibiscus 

Greet me at the door with Nostalgia's kisses 

Take my shoes 

Offer me rest a season

Companion

Say you it was Real 

Real in the Dark 

Where the weeds grow through asphalt

In thoughts and visits of dreams

Between you and me 

Stands your companion

As real as rain on my windshield

For me to deny

As I sit in the remnants

With only my breath

Until I felt what I didn't know

Where air became quietly crisp, familiar

Love, unhurried and reliable