Listening to piano chords to torture myself
Mourning a loss of something nothing
Yet I can’t turn my ears away
Repeating again the new piece
Purposely chosen for my ride home
By the gods ruling over my music system
The very moment my son closed the car door
Turning away to walk through the winter grass to the school
Easily as that without a goodbye
Had I not spoken first
He turned away shutting out one life and motivated in the other
With pain and envy I took a notice
I was unable to even cry no more than a few ticks on the watch
Sobs remained dry without tears
It’s better this way to squeeze out every drop of feeling to only feel numb
Which is not really numb
Instead real pain like mud and algae at the bottom of a shallow dark pond
Where my foot finds broken glass or bottle tops
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