I’m ashamed to admit it
Your beating heart might be the only real thing
Keeping me alive right now
I’m ashamed to say I’ve lost all
The meaning of life right at my fingertips
Beautiful joys got me buried in gratitude
What was I supposed to do
Just do what you can in 12 or 13 hours
It’s just life and always time to go anyway
What if it’s all being done
Without thought or love on purpose
All the magic I make-believe is gonna disappear
I couldn’t imagine you seeing me swinging
Hanging works but is too eerily haunting
So I’ll stay and put it away safe tonight
Why must I block my intimacy with a wall
Was my mouth always taped shut
With me just leaning into dark stolen places
I’m ashamed I trusted myself instead of wisdom
Lest I woke up naked, sick and wet
Tangled in cord on the stripped mattress top
I’d die if it had happened to you
So I’ll sleep with the moon in the window
Your beating heart keeping me here another day
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