There is a boat pulled by a wooden dragon, intricately carved by a master.  It is here we will live forever singing and smiling.  We are the lullaby.

Braids

I'm haunted by a certain history
Chasing words
Breaking to cry alone in a room
The little boys pinch my heart the most
With their dirty cold bony fingers
Gazing into their gray-less orbs in the
Stretched parchment of ashen faces
I feel the drop and the prickle of the
Past of a mother

When does the turn strike
Scorpions lop off the heads of growing babies
Clinging under the shawls in the laps of their mothers
Their sick sarcastic laughter sprays spit
Over petrified stones under clothes

The moon and the cross guilty with daggers
Never cleaning fingernails
Dry cracked knuckles caked with black oil
From shoe or gun polish
Soft white hair, ashes, globs, and bone splinters
Crows carrying off ribbons
Pink sea foam and sand fleas eaten by crabs

Elephant Dream

In a faded black and white with a deckle edge
a barn holds an elephant
She carries the acrobat through the fresh morning air 
Roses would be red in a chromatic future
Fragrance of heaven
Crushed in the powder
In the box on the back of the commode
Under the towel with the little cats' footprints 
There will always be pickles in a jar
With a sprig of dill looking like a raped snowflake 
Her white sunglasses were too big for her face
Her hair hung like yellow drapes
I stood glued to the asphalt
holding onto the car door
Gasping at the beauty in my path.
I didn't know there was an elephant club
Twirling batons on this secret path
For girls who lived to dream

Dreams and Memories

Our dreams are memories
Wrapping around us in midnight blue
Changing the days reality when work
Zaps away what we wish we are.
In the night many friends will be near
Familiar pavement and a fountain
A place from over 20 years ago
I remember when summer crisps near its end.
Dreams and memories forever intertwine

I've forgotten a bag miles away in my childhood bedroom.
The glass elevator takes us down to the pool.
The rug is red with yellow and black design.
The sidewalk crumbles over the tree root on 7th Street. 
The dog run cages in wolves.
The Arctic circle spins as I cling to the ice's edge
Do you remember the locker combination? 

Human Fledgling

I'm cutting the threads.
Well, I've given up the scissors
To a more talented seamstress.
One with more training.
Infinite knowledge is so much more than
I could ever collect.

Oh how it hurts me to watch the
Rain blur the images of the photographs of my mind's eye.
I can't feel the electricity whirring in their minds.
I can't hear the voices leading them to choices and dreams.
I can't feel the ache and the hiding of their emotions.
Truths and lies mean nothing, if I suppose.

I'm riding away on the dark carriage.
I can smell the dust on my horses haunch.
Cold sweat on his warm coat and the pulsing of his veins
Ground my feet when I rub his shoulder.
I know we are talking with our eyes with the language void of words.
He massages my heart and maple syrup coats the creaky spots.

Voice streams through the holes in the receiver microphone.
Is this a story of an entertainer I do not know that
Tugs my tendons with a silent plea of loneliness?
I can listen when I'm severed.
Words get scrambled in translation.
When I forget to breathe, it hurts. 

Age 39

I just turned age 39 last Wednesday.
I am happy to realize that I can make a mess in my own house.
I can get paint on the floor or the furniture.
My son drew a picture on my closet door w/ a black crayon.
I know why he did it.

There is no reason.

I drew my face on my shadow on the wall in my bedroom.
I was almost his age.
I made up a lie and said the paper moved.
The stuffed alligators watched from the ledge.
My son just said he did it, no reason.

There is progress and change.

My cats ripped the couch.  
My kids pulled out red yarn from my friend's afghan to use with their toys.
I remember painting with dolls' hair.
I stuffed spitballs into the TV.
My bedroom is supposed to be a living room.

What the hell is a living room?

My kids play on my bed.
They go in my drawers and pull out my outfit to wear for Halloween.
I can smell the rhythm of their breathing.
The toilet leaks, but the floor isn't rotten, yet.
Give me a couple months we just replaced the computer.

I'm embroidering trees where someday I will walk.

Project Research

Divinity, return me to the central truth I've always known embedded in all creation.

La divinidad, me regreso a la verdad central que siempre he sabido incrustado en toda la creación. Spanish

اللاهوت، وعودة لي أن الحقيقة المركزية كنت دائما جزءا لا يتجزأ من المعروف في جميع الخلق. Arabic

神，我到中央的真相，我一直都知道在所有的創造嵌入式。Traditional chinese

Godheid, stuur my na die sentrale waarheid Ek het altyd geweet ingebed in die hele skepping. Afrikaans

Божественность, вернуть меня к центральной правде, я всегда знал, встроенных во всем творении. Russian

Božství, vrátí mi centrální pravdě jsem vždycky věděl, součástí všech stvoření. Czech

Božanstvo, mi se vratili na središnjem istina uvijek sam poznat ugrađen u sva stvorenja. Croatian

Divinité, moi de revenir à la vérité centrale que j'ai toujours connue intégré dans toute la création. French

Divinità, mi ritorno alla verità centrale che ho sempre saputo incorporato in tutta la creazione. Italian

Divinity, kehren mir die zentrale Wahrheit, die ich immer gewusst habe in der ganzen Schöpfung eingebettet. German

האלוהות, להחזיר אותי אל האמת מרכזי תמיד ידוע מוטבע כל הבריאה. Hebrew

Divinity, returnere meg til den sentrale sannhet jeg alltid har visst innebygd i all skapelse. Norweigan

Božstva, vráti mi centrálne pravde som vždy vedel, súčasťou všetkých stvorení. Slovak

Աստվածայնության, վերադառնում ինձ կենտրոնական ճշմարտությունը Ես միշտ հայտնի ներդրված բոլոր ստեղծման. Armenian

Divinity vissza nekem, hogy a központi igazság Mindig tudtam ágyazva minden teremtmény. Hungarian

दिव्यता, मुझे केंद्रीय सच मैं हमेशा से जानता हूँ सारी सृष्टि में एम्बेडेड के लिए वापसी. Hindi

الہیات، مجھے مرکزی سچ میں ہمیشہ تمام مخلوق میں نام سے جانا جاتا ہے ایمبیڈڈ واپس. Urdu

พระเจ้ากลับฉันไปที่ความจริงกลางที่ฉันได้รู้จักกันเสมอในการสร้างที่ฝังตัวทั้งหมด thai

Divinity, kembali saya dengan kebenaran inti saya selalu tahu tertanam dalam semua ciptaan. Indonesian

Divinum revertere ad me ipsum semper veritate cognita integer enim in universo mundo. Latin

Guðdómleika aftur mér að þungamiðja ég hef alltaf vitað embed skapað. Icelandic

Divinity, dom filleadh ar an fhírinne lárnach mé ar a dtugtar leabaithe i gcónaí i ngach chruthú. Irish

Božanskost, Return to osrednjo resnico sem vedno znan Embedded v vsem stvarstvu. Slovenian

Divinity, ar ais mé go dtí an fhírinne lárnach mé leabaithe i gcónaí ar eolas agus gach a chruthú. Irish

神性は、私が常に知られているすべての創造に埋め込まれて中央の真実を私に戻ります。Japanese

Pagka-diyos, bumalik ako sa gitnang katotohanan na palaging kilala ko na naka-embed sa lahat ng paglikha. Filipino

신성은, 내가 항상 알려진 모든 피조물에 포함된했던 중앙 진실에 반환합니다. Korean

Théologie, retounen m 'nan sa a verite a santral Mwen te toujou li te ye entegre nan tout kreyasyon an. Haitian Creole

Θεότητα, με την επιστροφή στην κεντρική αλήθεια που έχω πάντα γνωστή ενσωματωμένες σε όλη τη δημιουργία. Greek

Ketuhanan, kembali saya kepada kebenaran pusat Saya selalu dikenali tertanam dalam semua ciptaan. Malay

Divinity, ritorn għalija li l-verità ċentrali stajt dejjem magħrufa inkorporati fil-ħolqien. Maltese

Divinity, tillbaka mig till den centrala sanningen Jag har alltid vetat inbäddad i hela skapelsen. Swedish

Uungu, kurudi kwangu ukweli wa mara zote inayojulikana iliyoingia katika viumbe wote. Swahili

தெய்வீகம், நான் எப்போதும் அழைக்கப்படும் அனைத்து உருவாக்குவதில் பதிக்கப்பட்ட நான் மத்திய உண்மையை என்னை திருப்பி. Tamil

דיוויניטי, קריק מיר צו די הויפט אמת איך'ווע שטענדיק געוואוסט עמבעדיד אין אַלע שאַפונג. Yiddish

Divinity, trả lại cho tôi sự thật trung tâm tôi đã luôn luôn được biết đến nhúng vào trong mọi tạo vật. Vietnamese

Божественність, повернути мене до центральної правді, я завжди знав, вбудованих в усьому творінні. Ukrainian

İlahiyat, beni, ben her zaman bilinen tüm yaratılışın gömülü ettik merkezi gerçeği. Turkish

దైవత్వం, నేను ఎల్లప్పుడూ తెలిసిన అన్ని సృష్టి లో పొందుపర్చిన చేసిన కేంద్ర నిజం నాకు తిరిగి. Telugu

Divinitatea, mi-a reveni la adevărul central Intotdeauna am cunoscut inglobate in intreaga creatie. Romanian

الهیات ، من بازگشت به حقیقت اصلی من همیشه شناخته شده در تمام خلقت تعبیه شده. Persian

Divinity, mnie z powrotem do sedna Zawsze wiadomo, osadzone w całym stworzeniu. Polish

Divindade, me devolva a verdade central que eu sempre soube embutidos em toda a criação. Portuguese

Divinity, palaa minut keskeiseen totuuteen Olen aina tiennyt upottaa koko luomakunnan. Finnish

Divinity, tagastab mulle keskne tõde ma olen alati teadnud varjatud kõigi looming. Estonia

Dievišķība, atgriezties man centrālo patiesību es vienmēr esmu pazīstams iestrādāta visiem radīšanu. Latvian

অমরত্ব, কেন্দ্রিয় সত্য আমি সবসময় করেছি সব সৃষ্টির পরিচিত এমবেডেড আমাকে ফেরত. Bengali

İlahiyat, mən həmişə tanınan bütün yaradılması daxil olduğunuz mərkəzi həqiqəti mənə qaytarın. Azerbaijani

Hyjnia, kthimi mua për të vërtetën qendrore e kam njohur gjithmonë të ngulitura në të gjithë krijimin. Albanian

Divinity, itzultzeko me erdiko egia beti dut ezagutzen sorkuntza guztiak txertatu. Basque

Боскасць, вярнуць мяне да цэнтральнай праўдзе, я заўсёды ведаў, убудаваных ва ўсім стварэння. Belarusian

Божествеността, ме да се върнете към централната истината, винаги съм известен вградени в цялото творение. Bulgarian

La divinitat, em retorn a la veritat central que sempre he sabut incrustat en tota la creació. Catalan

Guddommelighed, tilbage mig til den centrale sandhed, jeg har altid vidst indlejret i hele skabelsen. Danish

Goddelijkheid, terug te keren me naar de centrale waarheid die ik altijd al gekend zijn ingebed in de hele schepping. Dutch

Divindade, me devolva a verdade central que sempre soubo embutidos en toda a creación. Galician

Divinity დაბრუნება ჩემთვის ცენტრალური სიმართლე მე ყოველთვის ცნობილი ჩართული ყველა შექმნა. Georgian

પરમ દિવ્યતા, મને કેન્દ્રિય સત્ય હું હંમેશા જાણીતા કરેલા બધા બનાવટ જડિત કરવા માટે આવો. Gujarati

Divinity, kembali saya dengan kebenaran inti saya selalu tahu tertanam dalam semua ciptaan. Indonesian

ಡಿವಿನಿಟಿ ನಾನು ಯಾವಾಗಲೂ ಕರೆಯಲ್ಪಡುವ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಸೃಷ್ಟಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಎಂಬೆಡೆಡ್ ಮಾಡಿದ ಕೇಂದ್ರ ಸತ್ಯ ನನಗೆ ಮರಳುತ್ತಾರೆ. Kannada

Dieviškumo, grąžinkite man centrinė tiesa, aš visada žinomas įterptos visos kūrinijos. Lithuanian

Божество, ми се врати на централната вистина јас сум секогаш да се познавал вградени во секое создание. Macedonian

Божанство, ми да се вратим централној истина ја сам увек познато уграђени у свим стварања. Serbian

Divinity, yn dychwelyd i mi y gwirionedd canolog Ive 'bob amser yn hysbys yn rhan annatod o holl greadigaeth. Welsh

Losing the Lorax

Could you spare some tin
for this pint of blood?
I've locked my keys inside
searching for a spare can of tuna

The pavement cracks
support the grickle grass
Little piles of fine gravel
an ant hill making sand
in the sea of asphalt

Boxes are melting on the other side
of the window
Shelves are covered in dust
and an old box of plastic cutlery rusts.

Winter Wander Dream

I look out the window

So high off the ground

I watch through the

Snow-strained branches

Of the tallest tree

Within reach through the panes

No one is out there

This mid-afternoon

The neighborhood is napping

I try, but am unable to dial the phone

I hear someone slowly

Climbing the stairs

I remain hunched on the beanbag

Watching the snow

Feeling alone

I’d rather climb down those branches

Than go out the front door

I am waiting where I should not be

The Siblings

My children see small things, too

They find laughter under stones

The young one brings the old one comfort

And the old one protects the young one.

Partners holding tight to each other

In our spinning world

Like a Mouse

I see the mother of one of my friends in my dreams
Rearranging thrift shop antiques in the crannies
of a giant old house on college row
The kind partitioned into a labyrinth of dorms
I'm always getting lost in a twisty attic
Equiped with an "Alice in Wonderland" hidden door
I always try to catch her
I long to talk to her
I'm moving too slowly
She can't hear me and she leaves
before I can grasp her shoulder

Stalling

I watched Shannon’s cherry tree

Swaying softly next to the yellow bananas

Hanging by the window sill

The peanut butter slid down

The back of my throat and

Under my tongue

I was thirsty more than hungry

But I wanted to eat something first

The jar of peanut butter was all

That was ready and

Appealing

It wasn’t what I wanted

I scooped out another spoonful

And licked it slowly

Stalling

Go outside and

Join the others weeding

The garden lining the drive

2003-2004?

Hightowers

I ride my bicycle so I think that I’m ok

I ride my bicycle to keep police away

I ride my bicycle so I can see

Much better in the dark

I ride my bicycle to take me someplace

If I had somewhere else to go

If I had somewhere else to go

If I had somewhere else to be

Then I wouldn’t be here

I live in a small town

I live all alone

I can keep busy during the day

But sometimes after 10 pm

When it is dark outside

I get a little freaky inside

There is a little bar on the other side

Where all the misfits go

I go there to dance my soul someplace

Somewhere far away

originally written unknown 2003-2004

The Fairy Tale

Max is 6 and wears a toddler shoe

Vowing to be small forever

The mad scientist has a plan

That will work

Eileen’s tears wish her life was

A fairy tale

Life is real

Life is real

What hour does the laughter curdle

And the sarcasm blacken bread

Little ribs

Little ribs

Tickle tickle tickle

A motor boat and

Rubber fish in the tub

Alice the toad

Lives in the tree root

The hummingbird

Does come to eat

Leave us alone

We want to do

What we want to do

We want to play

Now go away

Feelings Faces

Use your faces she instructed

The faces just make me laugh

I really don’t know what they mean

Do you have the answer sheet

They’re on the door

They’re even labeled

It is really so

Elementary

I scold you

While I’m laughing

Serve grave illness

With a smile

Please don’t dish me

Discomfort

It’s my right to

Terrorize

Wait, something feels wrong

I’ve suppressed a distant rumble

Swallowing the broken bottles

I’ll be swimming at the bottom

OLD FRIENDS

I remember the day I said 
to Shannon
I remember the day we 
Could only count a few
Then we counted many
Then we counted more
Until we couldn't count one
For their blackness
Covered the whole horizon 
Between the meadow and the sky
As we stood on the hill on
Edith Avenue on a warm
Gray orange treed day
I remember how we turned our backs 
to them
I remember the Sarsaparilla and 
Prickly Pear pop we shared
On our way back to the place
We'd been two or three miles ago
The time of day had changed-
We found the sky empty
Quiet and gray 
Lonely before night and winter 
We walked home faster without words
Hands anxiously entwined
I was glad the swirly mass was gone
But today I'm not
-originally written 10-12-1995

Study at the Botanical Gardens

http://www.wkbg.org/pages/

It has been raining for most of this year's spring.  On Sunday I took my daughter and son to the Western Kentucky Botanical Gardens to utilize our new sketch books.  There is an art exhibit in June for a Daylily Festival, so we were out doing some flower research.  It is difficult to do justice for the experience by describing it with words.  It was drizzling on and off, there were bird feeders visited by birds, rocks to climb, a pond, and plenty of blooming flowers to sketch.  I also have to mention we were the only people in the park.  The weather was chilly, but we came prepared with coats and umbrella.  We all went home wet and smiling with a few damp sketches in our bound books.  The pieces to come out from the experience with be a success, if only because of the memory behind them.

The Accounting Clerk

I keep the books for my clients

Pretending to be an accountant

I chose to do this

I did

Numbers are good

12 crows

3 ships

1 moon

I’ve painted all these things

I did

I had a friend who’s a doctor

Once we were poets

Who keeps track of all the wires

How do they do that

Don’t worry

He said not to wonder

Such things are not for me

Noah and Fargo, smart  kids

On a swing and a moon

I feared

A swing and a moon

My heart in my throat

Just kids in the sand

Arms and legs

I love

The clock is ticking

The mirror holds a reflection

How much life is an illusion

Blood feeds and takes away

I know