Selfish

Driving to meet you, dad,

The air too thick in the car

Between he and I

For finding words to say out loud

Like always I looked to the window 

To captivate my mind and breathe 

Sky white as paper 

Accentuated bones of the faraway trees 

Cliques of dwarf evergreens stood

Within rose gold grass and rocks 

Filling the silent void of worn music

With their laughter I’d imagine

Give me ten reasons to stay

But really give me one good one

I’m tired and hungry but no morsel 

Quenches my longing

The homemade chips were good 

Not like the excitement of my foot 

Hitting the city pavement

There’s nothing to go back to 

And this place would grow old 

I don’t want to just know everyone new

He walked away in his coat and hat

Not even turning around to laugh

No smile no wave goodbye 

Gutted with sick sadness and excitement

Knowing and not knowing at all

I drove with my dad to the bus stop